I facilitate difficult conversations, while supporting your choices. Choosing to have these conversations facilitated makes it easier for others to hear what you want them to understand. It is through these conversations that decisions based on your values and beliefs can be supported and if you are unable to be honoured. Similarly, if you are unable to speak for yourself, those around you will be clear about what you want.
Managing the ‘What Ifs’
One of the most difficult things for people to do is to consider the “what ifs”…What if something happens to me? What if I cannot express my own decisions about my health care or finances due to incapacity”? What if my heirs have expectations about my last will and testament that differ from my choices?
Planning, while difficult, provides a peace of mind that your choices will be honoured in case something does happen.
WHY DO I NEED SOMEONE TO FACILITATE MY DISCUSSION WITH SIGNIFICANT OTHERS?
- You have had time to think about your values and truths before you make important life decisions. Often when these decisions are shared with significant people in your life, their response may range from acceptance to disbelief and non-acceptance.
- Communicating important life decisions can sometimes be difficult because these are emotional conversations and your decisions may conflict with their beliefs and values.
- Having your discussions facilitated increases the chances of family or friends receiving clear information from you to understand your decisions and your choices. Communicating choices helps to create a circle of support for yourself and each other.
LET’S GET STARTED!
STEP 1 – GOOD PLANNING
Good planning is important because it means that you have taken the time to think about what you want and the values that guide your decisions. If you are clear about these, it will be much easier to talk to others so that they can support you and each other, and act on your behalf if this is necessary.
- Start by thinking about and /or writing down your wishes.
- If you are diagnosed with an illness, talk to your health practitioner(s) so that you can understand your diagnosis, prognosis and treatment options in order to make informed decisions about your treatment choices.
- Think about who you would want to rely on to make decisions for you if you become unable to. Choosing people to act for you when you cannot is a serious matter; by doing this you give them a great deal of authority. Some of your family members or friends may be better at helping with health issues; others may be better at finances.
- Support you in making your decisions about your health care with your health practitioners if needed. This may involve attending medical appointments with you so that you can hear what is being said during anxious times.
- Help you articulate the values, beliefs and wishes that underlie the decisions that you have made.
- Help you to identify who you would want to act for you if you are no longer able to; this may involve choosing a person(s) who will act as your Attorney for Personal Care (health care decisions) and / or Continuing Attorney for Property (financial decisions).
- Refer you to other resources to get additional information or help.
STEP 2 – I WILL PREPARE YOU FOR THE CONVERSATION(S)
- Help you decide who you want to tell about your decisions. This may be your family, your friends, or any other people who are significant to you.
- Help you identify what you wish to share about your diagnosis, prognosis and treatment choices.
- Help you identify what you wish to share about your choices related to your power of attorney for personal care and continuing power of attorney for property.
- Help you identify what you wish to share about your last will and testament.
- Help you identify what you want to communicate about other significant personal decisions such as separation, divorce, sexuality and gender.
STEP 3 – I WILL FACILITATE THE CONVERSATION(S)
- Create an open meeting environment with some rules and boundaries so that you can talk about and share the information that you wish to.
- Facilitate the conversation(s) so that you can clearly share your information in a way that can be heard by others during times of anxiety and stress.
- Support you in responding to the reactions and emotions of the people who are important to you as they hear what you are saying.